Batfreak's Cave

RIGHT? WRONG! - what you wanna do, but what you OUGHTA do instead:::

WHEN the class bully threatens you for the umpteenth time, just sweat, look intimidated and shut up... RIGHT?
WRONG! Be a REAL nerd, send yourSELF to the Principal, BEFORE you smash a chair over the dickhead!

WHEN your art or novel gets rejected by the 1st publisher you thought of, don't reply. Just move on... RIGHT?
WRONG! Reply with 'HA HA you will NEVER see my finest work!'

WHEN you've blamed your alarm clock, too often, just admit tahgt you sleep in too much... RIGHT?
WRONG! Show that the receipt confirms you bought the clock in QLD, and it refuses to keep up with the rest of the country.

WHEN that musician you've supported since the early days FINALLY makes the big time, get an autograph... RIGHT?
WRONG! Ask for a refund on all the earlier, crappier albums.

WHEN the redneck gets promoted before you, just talk a little slower at team meetings.... RIGHT?
WRONG! Keep repeating your personal invitation to join you at Anger Management class.

WHEN your neighbours fuck loud & often, just wait for a quiet night and you'll catch up on your sleep.... RIGHT?
WRONG! Wait for a quiet night, then leave a note under the door - 'SORRY I MISSED BOTH OF YOU....'

WHEN you have to tell Aust.Post what your valuable missing package contained, tell them everything about the contents... RIGHT?
WRONG! 'It was full of white powder that I need.... very soon!'

WHEN your football team loses yet another grand final, shake the line-up about, vigorously.... RIGHT?
WRONG! Sack the waterboy, and move everyone from the Club President DOWN one level... (YOU for Pres?)

WHEN Father wants to go on a Male-bonding venture into the bush, do the duty thing and rough it... RIGHT?
WRONG! Puncture everything before leaving the house.

WHEN your middle-management supervisor complains that 'it's not MY decision, I feel awful' while they downsize you, make them feel better by leaving quietly... RIGHT?
WRONG! Make him feel better with a punch in the face, GIVING them a decent reason to feel justified.

WHEN your ISP hassles you for money (while the rates continue to rise), just pay them , it's worth it... RIGHT?
WRONG! Tell them certain AOL executives won't be getting their 'special Xmas eCards'this year, unless your accounts are left intact.

...I have more.... coming soon. x Marty Bf

Happy Mother's Day - this is for you who have/had a Mother...

> > > >If we could shrink the earth's population to a
> > > >village of precisely 100 people, with all the
existing
> > > >human ratios remaining the same, it would look
> > > >something like the following:

> > > >There would be:

> > > >57 Asians

> > > >21 Europeans

> > > >14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and
south

> > > >8 Africans


> > > >52 would be female

> > > >48 would be male


> > > >70 would be non-white

> > > >30 would be white


> > > >70 would be non-Christian

> > > >30 would be Christian


> > > >89 would be heterosexual

> > > >11 would be homosexual


> > > >6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's
> > > >wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.


> > > >80 would live in substandard housing


> > > >70 would be unable to read


> > > >50 would suffer from malnutrition


> > > >1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth


> > > >1 would have a tertiary education


> > > >1 would own a computer


> > > >When one considers our world from such a compressed
> > > >perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding
> > > >and education becomes glaringly apparent.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >The following is also something to ponder...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >If you woke up this morning with more health than
> > > >illness...you are more blessed than the million who
> > > >will not survive this week.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >If you have never experienced the danger of battle,
> > > >the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of
torture,
> > > >or the pangs of starvation ....you are ahead of 500
> > > >million people in the world.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >If you can attend a church meeting without fear of
> > > >harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are
more
> > > >blessed than three billion people in the world.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on
your
> > > >back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you
are
> > > >richer than 75% of this world.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and
> > > >spare change in a dish some place ... you are among
> > > >the top 8% of the world's wealthy.


> > > >If your parents are still alive and still married
...
> > > >you are very rare, even in the United States and
> > > >Canada.


> > > >If you can read this message, you just received a
> > > >double blessing in that someone was thinking of
you,
> > > >and furthermore, you are more blessed than over
> > > >two billion people in the world that cannot read at
> > > >all.


> > > >Someone once said:


> > > >What goes around comes around.

> > > >Work like you don't need the money.

> > > >Love like you've never been hurt.

> > > >Dance like nobody's watching.

> > > >Sing like nobody's listening.

> > > >Live like it's Heaven on Earth.