Batfreak's Cave

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's famous sketch "Who's on first?" would be something like this in the new millennium:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking>about> buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just sayI'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

A FEW DAYS LATER . .

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START". . .

Hey hey, i'm a Mod.

No, I haven't fallen in with the 'wrong crowd', you know, the ones that hoon around on scooters & mopeds, dressed sharply, singing Paul Weller...

I'm a Moderator @ http://bootsnremixes.proboards26.com

yay - chekkit. MBf

Spring has Sprung, but what's with the weekend of hail? Chaos ruled the world, for a bit!

over at GYBO, I asked my fellow funky peeps what NLI stands for: here's what they said

(starting with my set-up post)

You're NOT allowed to Reply with NOT LOGGED IN - that's too easy.....a couple of us wanna see how many variations you can collectively come up with.(mainly because someone around here has NO idea what it means, obviously) I'll get it rolling: Nice Legs, Innit?- YOUR TURN!!!
« Last Edit: 26.08.04 at 06:44:21 by marty batfreak »


hmmm... maybe:Naturally Locked Immature - Needs Less Input
Logged eve massacre - blog - mixes - music


Near Legendary Insult
(much later) Not Lacking Imagination.... nearly liked it
Logged dunproofin


No Longer Included
Logged DJ Nite - Mash Up Site totally redesigned, just click on the Smash Alien. You know it makes sense...


For all those Serge Gainsbourg fans:No Lemon Incest
(later added) Nekkid Ladies Inside
(and later still) Not Like IDC (this got props from Dj BC)
(and later again) Never Loved Indians
(and he back!) Needed: Loving Individuals
Logged Spiny Norman

(his lemon incest got this from Richie DLuX)
Good man!Now Only Fools has finished, Rodney's got a new job
Nicholas Lyndhurst's Ices
Stop him and try one.
Logged Roy of the Ravers

Noxious Lactose Intolerance
Logged The Geez


Nervously Lactating Imbeciles
Logged dj BCwww.djbc.net/mashes


Need Licking Immediately
Logged Dj Scenius


Nefarious Lubricated Instigators
Logged Solcofn


(me) Oh!Nazi Living Idiot
(later) oh, again!Nasty Little Insect


No Love Inside
Logged RadioQuita www.strangely-familiar.audio-sault.com



National League of Incontinence
Logged Freed



Nude, Lewd and Impude(nt)
Logged Mrs Chris (you'll find her around here somewhere as Undomesticated Urban Princess x)


Not Lovin' It
Logged JetSet Alex



Naked Lemurs Incognito
Logged Poj (masta)



no, little imp
Logged dj BC www.djbc.net/mashes



national league of ireland
(then added) notoriously lame interpretation
Logged JadMix


narcy lairy instigators
Logged Silokk


naughty leather incident
(eve again, kinky thing! so i had to pop in with...)

Nice.... Like It ! (he he)


what does NLI stand for....... cos theres no where to sit.... oh dear!
nearly lost interest ! now lick it
(and later, while still a Newbie) newbies look idiotic!... damn...
(and later again) nine long inches
Logged DJJB


Anything after a rum and coke: Now Lovingly Improved
Logged Charlie Blimey (he better change his avatar, the Doc was there 1st!)

(another batch from me)
and, for the frustrated among us: Needs Laying Immediately
Night Lights Irritate - for my nocturnal peeps


No Lesbian Interludes? or Noxiously Lecherous Iquanas.
Logged Kitty Glitter my net.radio station my site my blog


Nice Long Insertion - I'm obviously taking about fading a track into a mix...
(and later) Nasty Libertines, 'innit
« Last Edit: 01.09.04 at 11:09:18 by Starsky 'innit » Logged



Not Licking Idols
(and later) Now Lost Inside....
« Last Edit: 01.09.04 at 16:27:38 by Brower » Logged



Nearly Lost Interest?
Logged Paul Flex Taylor (my boy steps up!)

(but got a smack from DJJB)
never looked... idiot!
Logged DJJB

(so i chilled dem mo'fo's out with)
Nownow, Less illin' !
(he hee)

nurses love injurys
(DJJB smells a fight!)

Now Liquor imbibing!
(DJ BC drops a drink or two)

nymphomaniacs love it!
(DJJB's parting shot)

( I wind things up with)
Norway LOVES it !
Nazis Loathe Indiana(but they still didn't shoot him when they had the chance(s) ? )
Ninety-nine Loonies, Inc.(aka most of the original GYBOids who are still here!)

No Longer Interested?(solly if pearoast.....) but cant be arsed reading back.....
(TBL says it all)

(and so, curtains from me...)

Nice Laughs!It's............ over.Thanx guys, that was fantastic - I'm actually gonna grab these now & chuck them in my bloghttp://batfreak.blogspot.comYou all rule, 'cept for the inspiration - he's still a dick.

Just then. at http://www.getyourbootlegon.net - tah 8)